Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Can someone, whoever who read my blog can give me a very alternative ways to overcome my Stress??? I’m depressed n Stress out rite now n am not sure what am so depressed about. But I think it might from come from the business result I jus received today. Suffering Snakes!!! I got a C (63%) for the test that I worked so hard on it. It just not fair, I spent two days before the test revised for almost 4 hours n I get nothing??? Why is it so unfair?? I should get what I’m expected to get, B sound ok for me BuT not a C again? I’ve got C before n I aimed myself not to get a C anymore but looked at my result now……C!!! Even Fahrina got the same marks as me!! I’m so disappointed on myself, seriously, I’M!!! I got this stupid childish Imagination rite now. I think Farri Agri (arghh, hate him) took my brain! Ain’t that’s stupid?? But I still believing because you see here, before the test, I was a bit friendly with Farri ( I never talked to Farri even though he’s in my class, so when I said “a bit friendly” means that I talked to him quite a lot) and then guess what? I think he got a better mark than me! DAMN!!! I think…… because in class he started to becoming very good at business….yes, started to. Before that, I was always better than him, always but after I talked to him, DAMN……everything changed! He took my luck for business!!! HE TOOK MY BUSINESS BRAIN!!! So, what I gonna do now is GET A BETTER MARK THAN HIM!!! I HAVE TO! I can’t let him beat me! NEVER!!!
Another thing I was upset about was this documentary video that Mr. Lambros showed us today. It shows us how violent, how bad, how disgusting America is. I realize that American cause all the wars in the past. They were actually BULLYING all the poor asian country such as Vietnams, Serbia, Africa, Iraq etc. They were really mean. I felt so sorry to all those innocent victims being killed violently by bloody American hands. It’s really sad when you watch the documentary……
By the way, I felt so sorry to Egit as well. She got a “F” for her test which was Really Really bad!!! I felt so bad about it because I helped her a lot revising and she did done a good jobs when she’s revising with me but when it comes to test, jang jang, jang she forget everything!!! Damn!!!
I suddenly felt so stupid about myself. I realize that I never make people happy, I never make people laugh or smile, I only cause they hate me more…I don’t know why I thought like that, I felt I’m useless in the crowd. I couldn’t do anything; I’m just annoying people which make people hate me more. Yes, I do want to improve and be like Rachel but I felt helpless. I felt stupid when I doing that. Sometimes I want to be heard, attention by people around me but no one actually listen to me……I know, it’s kind of sad when people don listen to you. That’s why I joined MUN so people can “actually” listen to your voice although they are not interested with my speech. I felt free when in front of microphones, especially in front of the crowd.
Ok, I going to stop nagging now & have a very happy life!
Labels: school days
